Permission to Live a BIG Life

There’s a unique kind of person in this world – the one who’s always there for others. The dependable one. The problem-solver. The emotional anchor in every storm. These people are often called “strong,” and rightly so. But what’s often less acknowledged is the quiet, chronic cost of carrying that strength alone.

If you’re someone others turn to first – someone who rarely shows your own struggles, who feels responsible for holding everything together – you may have internalized a dangerous message: that being strong means never resting, never asking for help, and never putting the load down.

But even the strongest among us need rest – especially the strong ones.

Many of us have learned that leadership means self-sacrifice, that support requires self-abandonment, and that being reliable means being available at all costs. In practice and over time, this belief system leads to burnout, resentment, emotional disconnection and dysregulation, and a gradual erasure of your own needs. The approach to be strong at all costs can likely be justified because there are big, audacious goals to accomplish and never enough time – so we can rest later, right?

This is where Living BIG comes in.

Coined by researcher and author Brené Brown, Living BIG stands for:

• Boundaried
• In Integrity
• Generous

It is a radically compassionate and courageous framework for protecting your soul without closing your heart.

Living BIG is not about withdrawing from others or becoming rigid with your time. It’s about reclaiming your right to live in alignment with your own truth; something that can feel foreign if you’re used to prioritizing everyone else.

Here’s what Living BIG can look like:

• Saying “no” when you mean no, and “yes” only when your heart truly aligns with it.
• Being honest about your needs, limits, and truth – even when it feels uncomfortable or scary.
• Letting go of the belief that your worth is tied to how much you do for others.
• Trusting that your value remains intact when you choose to care for yourself.
  

Brené Brown puts it simply:

“The most compassionate people I’ve interviewed also have the most well-defined and well-respected boundaries. They assume that others are doing the best they can and they ask for what they need.”

If you’re a leader in education (and we know this can extend beyond a title), this message may hit even closer to home.

As the school year winds down, the exhaustion can feel bone-deep. You’re not just wrapping up logistics and preparing for year-end responsibilities –  you’re holding space for your staff’s fatigue, your students’ needs, and your community’s expectations, all while trying to manage your own quiet burnout.

Leadership in education is often invisible labor. You carry decisions that others don’t see, absorb stress that others offload, and model composure even when you’re stretched thin. You’re expected to lead with vision, support with empathy, and never let the cracks show.

But here’s the truth:

You are not a machine. You are not a miracle-worker. You are a human being.

Burnout doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’ve been strong for too long without support. It means your internal resources need replenishing. And it means now is the time to Live BIG for yourself, not just for others.

• Set boundaries with meetings, emails, and after-hours expectations, even in the final sprint.
• Act with integrity by being honest about what’s sustainable, not just what’s possible.
• Practice generosity toward yourself by resting without guilt and allowing others to step in.
• Openly speak to these shifts and encourage others to do the same.

Your leadership is not defined by how much you endure, but by how authentically and sustainably you show up. Modeling self-respect and boundaries isn’t just for your own wellbeing; it’s a lesson your staff and students are quietly learning from you every day.

As you cross the finish line of this school year, choose to arrive whole, not just accomplished. The work will still be there. But so will your worth, your wellness, and your heart – if you protect them.

Just in case you need to hear this, too:

You don’t need a reason to rest.
You don’t need to constantly prove your worth through doing.
You don’t need to be everything to everyone.

Living BIG is not selfish. It’s sacred. And it’s necessary for those who have spent their lives being strong for others at the expense of themselves.

So take the invitation: put the weight down. Let your breath come a little easier. Do what is most nourishing for you in this moment and every moment after. Say the hard no. Ask for what you need. Return to yourself.

You are more than what you do.
You are more than how much you give.
You are allowed to take space for yourself.

With tenderness and deep respect,
Someone who sees you for your light, not just your labour.

• By : Dr. Lisa Ziebart is a transformational educational leader and consultant with over 15 years of experience in curriculum innovation, inclusive and authentic leadership, and strategic program development. Lisa specializes in using intersectional approaches to cultivating true belonging, equity, and transformative educational environments across international and independent school contexts.